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Why are people so uncomfortable with change?

I was listening to my favourite album for the millionth time this morning.  Lauryn Hill MTV Unplugged.

 

I usually skip through the interludes on the album to impatiently get to the songs.  I don't know what was different this morning.  Maybe it was because I was cleaning my bathroom wearing rubber gloves that I didn't skip forward to avoid getting bleach on my phone.

 

Anyway, I listened to what Lauryn was saying for perhaps the first time, well certainly the first time consciously at least.  I properly listened.

 

She was talking about reality.  How we all crave fantasy but reality is what we need.  How it is ok to be us and not hide behind what people think we should be.

 

It got me to thinking.

 

When people say, "Oh she's changed", "He's changing", "She's not the person she used to be".... I wondered why so often this is phrased in such a negative way, as if it is a bad thing.

 

Why is it that people can't cope with a person who changes?

 

Why is this so uncomfortable for people?

 

I wondered why it really is so hard for people to adapt, be flexible in their encounters with others, appreciate growth and be inspired by change, see the excitement in evolving.

 

We know caterpillars transform into butterflies and what a beautiful change this is and yet transformation in people is viewed negatively.

 

"Oh, now what do I do, she's changed".

 

The fear that change invokes as some desperately cling onto what was to provide security, so-called normality, safety in remaining the same.

 

So this morning I made a decision.

 

I decided that when I'm faced (I was going to say accused of) with someone's statement that I'm changing, I will simply reply with a thank you.

 

Thank you for noticing my growth.

 

Thank you for recognising I am evolving.

 

"What isn't growing is dead." These words that Lauryn used really hit home.

 

So yes, bring on change.

 

Never stop evolving, changing, it's called living and learning.

 

I'm not the person I was when I was a child, a teenager, in my 20s or even last week.  None of us are.

 

I'm good with that.

 

I'm good with the changing me.

 

There is no need to stagnate to be what others are used to.

 

By all means reassure them that it is a good thing, they can join you if they want to or they can choose not to.

 

We don't have to stay as we are so other people can feel comfortable that they know how to fit with you.  They will work out a new fit or maybe they won't.  Their choice.

 

Maybe you will inspire positive change in them.

 

Grow, live, change.

 

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